


You Killed Me First

by orphan_account



Category: Alice in Chains, Nirvana (Band), Pearl Jam, Soundgarden (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - High School, Bad Decisions, Basketball, Bullying, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Child Abandonment, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Discrimination, Drug Dealing, Homelessness, Homophobia, Implied Sexual Content, Leaving Home, Locker Room, M/M, Military, Moving On, Moving Out, Period-Typical Homophobia, Physical Abuse, Racism, Running Away, Sad Ending, Sexual Repression, Street Racing, Teenage Parents, Wheelchairs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:14:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24557515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: AU~Intertwining stories about students and staff at Thurston Moore High.
Relationships: Ben Shepherd/Matt Cameron, Chris Cornell/Eddie Vedder, Dave Abbruzzesse/Mike McCready, Jason Everman/Chad Channing, Jeff Ament/Stone Gossard, Jerry Cantrell/Layne Staley, Kim Thayil/Hiro Yamamoto, Kurt Cobain/Dave Grohl
Comments: 60
Kudos: 27





	1. Love My Way: Pt 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just so nobody gets confused this story basically has a bunch of stories that are about a few chapters long or whatever that intertwine with each other. I thought that would make this easier to write. Oh and Chris looks like he would have in about 1989 during the year louder than love was released.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These first few chapters revolve around Jeff and Stone. ❤ Those two are amazing.

Jeff was walking down the sidewalk with his two best friends Krist and Jack. The wind blew in his face threatening to take away his hat. 

It was autumn so the street was littered with yellow and orange leaves. Jeff had a smug smile on his face, spinning his basketball in his hand. Because it was autumn, it was now basketball season and Jeff was the team's shooting guard.

He loved basketball it was his life. But he didn't know if he would go pro with it since he also loved photography. "Me and Roxanne had a wild time last night. We did it in my car." Jack gleamed sounding so pleased and smirking.

Krist smirks as well and they high-five. "Me and Diana just took the next step."

Jack and Jeff cheered for him. "It's about time man. I was worried about you for a second. I almost thought you were afraid."

Krist chuckles. "No not me man. Diana wanted to wait that's all."

Jack turns his attention to Jeff. "Jeff. You and Torrie have been going to together for almost two years and you two have yet to take the next step. What are you waiting for?"

"Nothin. We just don't feel the time is right."

Jack snorts. "You are the the team's shooting guard, why wouldn't she want to be all over you."

Jeff sighs. "Why does this even matter? Sex is Sex why brag about it."

Krist and Jack stare at him. "Are you not a teenager?" Krist asks.

Jeff rolls his eyes. "Doesn't mean I have to be a sex connoisseur."

Jack gives him a concerned look. "If you don't bone her soon, you might not be able to call her your girl anymore."

Jeff scoffs. "Sex isn't everything."

* * *

Jeff was sitting next to his friends looking at the menu. Of course Krist and Jack were talking about sex again. There wasn't anything wrong with it. Talking about it made him very uncomfortable however.

He had other things to worry about like the game the next Friday. Though it was over a week away they should have all been prepared. Jack was their point guard and Krist was their center. They should have been more worried.

"Fellas I think we should take the girls to that soccer game friday night." Jack says.

"Like a triple date?" Krist asks.

"Yeah hum."

Jeff silently agreed, grinning along as if he was okay. Jack remembers something grimacing in disgust. "I totally forgot that ferry Rett Pearson from the Jetts is playing."

Jeff immediately feels uncomfortable. "Why's he got to be a ferry?" Krist asks Jeff keeps his mouth shut wanting to go along with what seems like the more popular opinion.

"Dude he came out of the closet you know about it right Jeff?"

Jeff nods. He had heard not knowing why the guy is subjecting himself to the ridicule. "Yeah I heard about it."

"Still Jack if he wants to take it or put it up the ass that's his problem."

Jack rolls his eyes. "Krist man like I said sometimes I worry about you."

Krist scoffs. "What makes you worry so much?"

"I mean...for crying out loud you listen to the New York Dolls."

Jeff tries hard not to laugh at his statement.

* * *

The boys were in the car with their girlfriends after the game. Jack and Krist were pretty amused along with their girlfriends.

While Jeff felt very uncomfortable and Torrie just seemed frustrated trying to lean into his chest while he seemed so uninterested and was showing her no attention.

Jeff had been like that for awhile now and frankly she was getting sick of it. She didn't know what his problem was but when she got him alone again she wanted to get to the bottom of it.

"I can't believe you did that Jack." Roxanne says scolding him but finding it more funny than anything.

Krist looks away from the window. "Did you really have to scream fag in front of everyone and get a lot of the crowd to join in?"

"Got a problem with that Krist? Somebody like that has no business being on a field let alone team."

"Nah man. I just think it was a little disrespectful."

Jack scoffs. "Freedom of speech. I can say whatever I want." He glances in the back towards an oddly quiet Jeff. "Jeff something the matter? Did I hurt your feelings."

Jeff looks down at the messy floor. He knew he should've stayed quiet but at this point he couldn't. "You should have seen the hurt in his eyes. You really hurt his feelings. You shouldn't have done that."

"Jeff why should you care about a fag's feelings?" 

Torrie looks up at him and so does everyone else making him feel so small. "...I just.... it's nothing."

Jack could've interrogated him more and not let the conversation go but he decided to drop it.

It takes about twenty minutes for Jack to pull up to Torrie's house. Jeff walks her to the door.

"I fun tonight Jeff. Thanks for taking me."

"No problem. I had fun too."

She cups his cheeks and kisses him deeply. Jeff was surprised but then puts his hand on her lower back. He wanted it to feel good and right. But it didn't, he felt nothing and it absolutely frightened him.

It had been like this for awhile but he refused to admit it to himself.

"Goodnight." He says after they pull apart.

* * *

Jeff had his head in his hands just thinking about the game. That's all he wanted to focus on and all he thought he should focus on.

His grades were pretty decent his best class being graphic design. Everyone on the team liked and respected him and he had no enemies.

His mother a bright and bubbly woman comes prancing into the kitchen. She glances at Jeff from behind the counter. Jeff was staring off into space and she was concerned.

"Jeff sweety."

He's snapped out of it. "Huh?"

"You're dozing off sweetheart."

"Sorry. I didn't realize."

"You've been doing this pretty frequently. I'm worried about you baby. You can tell me anything."

"It's about the game that's all." He lies it had nothing to do with it in reality.

"That's strange. You are usually never _this_ worried about it."

"Well this team we're up against are known to be very aggressive."

Obnoxious knocks sound from the door. "Jeff it's your friends man." Jack says.

Jeff rolls his eyes standing up and opening the side door letting Krist and Jack in.

"Hey Ms. Ament. How's it going?" Krist says wanting to be respectful and Jack does the same.

"It's going swell boys." She turns to Jeff. "I'll be in the living room if you need me."

Jeff nods and they rush to his room.

* * *

"Think we have a chance of wining the game?" Krist asks sitting at Jeff's desk reading one of his discarded magazines.

Jack and Jeff were carelessly bouncing a basketball towards one another.

Jack immediately answers. "Hell yeah man what are you crazy. Last year we were 28 and 0. This year were are 2 and 0."

"Yeah man. We rarely ever get beat. We are the team to beat." Jeff says getting a high-five from Jack.

Jeff's CD player was playing next to them. It was the eighties and CD's weren't too popular, so most didn't have one. The song blasting was love my way by the psychedelic furs. 

Jack immaturity groans. "Jeff why the fuck are you listening to this gay shit. These guys dress and sound like ferries and this song is glorifying homos."

Jeff rolls his eyes. "This is a good song."

"Can't you just play something else please?"

Jeff sighs and stands up grabbing a Ramones CD from his shelf.

He puts it in and plays The KKK took my baby away.

Krist was drumming alone to it with his fingers. He was getting bored with the magazine and goes into Jeff's desk pulling out something shocking. 

He stares in absolute shock for a second flipping through pages and becoming even more shocked. "No way." "No fucking way!"

His excitement and increasing loudness catches the boys attention. "What's this all about?"Jack asks.

"Dude you have to see this. It has naked men." Krist throws it to him.

Jeff feels so afraid and on edge knowing they found something he never wanted them to find. Jack scrolls through it and closes it soon after in disgusted. He turns to Jeff. "Why the fuck do you have a fag mag?"

Jeff had two options breakdown and loose his friends or lie. He chose the latter. "You don't really think I look at that shit do you? I only brought it for a basketball article."

Jack was still pretty unconvinced. "Come on man you know me why would I purposely buy a fag mag? I'll trash it right now."

Jack and Krist laugh finally becoming somewhat convinced. Jeff trashes it.

The boys leave a few hours later. Jeff sat on his bed close to crying so upset that his secret "curiosity" was almost found out about.


	2. Love My Way: Pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Love my way, It's a new road  
> I follow where my mind goes"
> 
> 💜❤ Stone and Jeff are Still amazing. ❤💙

Jeff sat in the back of his history class paying attention. He was close to falling asleep while the teacher was teaching them about world war one. 

He had a pit in his stomach thinking about the boys finding his "fag" mag. He couldn't believe it. He hoped they brought his lie but he doubted it.

Jeff just wanted the day to end. When the bell rang he was so happy though he had two more periods and practice.

Walking towards lunch Torrie had caught up with him wanting to talk.

They were standing in an empty stairway. "Jeff what's going on with you?"

"Nothing."

"Jeff don't play dumb. We've been going together for over two years. You show less and less affection towards me. Why?"

Jeff hardly knew the answer himself. "How could you think that?"

She scoffs. "Jeff come on. We barely kiss, or touch. We don't hang out as much anymore. You won't even have sex with me."

He should have known she'd notice eventually. "...Things are changing but I'm fine."

She wanted to believe him. "Do you still love me."

Jeff swallows the pit in his stomach. "Yes." He wanted to believe it but he had a really hard time.

She trusted him and brought it.

* * *

Jack and Jeff were where sitting on the bleachers after practice.

Jack had been a little cold to him as of late but it wasn't too noticeable. "Man you should have seen her. She was on her knees in a matter of seconds. She unzipped my pants-

"No offense by why are you telling me all of this about your girlfriend?" Jeff was noticeably uncomfortable.

"Why not we're both guys and we both like girls...right?"

Jeff was getting annoyed. "Why the hell are you asking me that?"

Jack holds his hands up in defense. "I'm just trying to make sure. After that whole fag mag situation-

"I already told you."

Jack studies him to see if he's lying pissing him off anymore. "Whatever you say man."

Jeff was so over the whole day feeling as though he was interrogated non-stop. He gets up and storms off. "Jeff!"

"I'll walk home."

Jeff stormed out of the gym doors walking down the the dark hallways with his bag and ball in hand. 

The sky was dark once he walks out walking faster than normal so Jack wouldn't catch him. Jeff's house was actually a pretty long walk from school making him regret his decision

Jeff felt like he world would come crashing down any moment and he wouldn't be able to stop it. It had him worry.

* * *

Jeff was walking in front of a university when he heard a voice call him. "Jeff!" It definitely wasn't Jack.

He turns and there's Stone with his short brown hair wearing bagging jeans and a jacket. He had a video equipment in his hands. "Hi Stone. How are you?"

Stone raises an eyebrow. "I'm okay. Why are you out here walking by yourself so late."

Jeff pushes his annoying dark blonde hair behind his ear. "I'm walking home."

Stone laughs. "No you aren't. Your home isn't anywhere near here. I'm giving you a ride."

Stone didn't ask him so Jeff listens. 

His car was sliver and pretty old but it worked fine. Jeff enters the passenger seat and the two are silent for the most park. "Shouldn't you be at basketball practice?" Stone turns the heat on since it's freezing.

"That ended awhile ago." Stone and Jeff had known each other for over a year. Stone was a student at the university. He was an aspiring film director. Him and Jeff bonded over Jeff's interest in photography and his interest in film making.

"So you're just walking home alone. No friends or girlfriend."

"Yeah it seems as much."

Stone starts driving. "Jeff you've been acting a little different lately. Is there something going on?"

Even Stone was worried about him. "I'm okay. Really."

"You know you can tell me anything right. I'm here."

Jeff knew he could especially with the problem he was dealing with but he didn't want to say anything and make this become reality.

"So how's university Stone?"

Stone was disappointed that Jeff dropped the subject. He just wanted his friend to be alright. "It's going good. I'm filming some student films. How's ball?"

"It's good. We have a game in a couple of days."

"Sweet invitation." Stone jokes.

"Sorry. I forgot to invite you do you want to come?"

Stone laughs. "Sure why not. What time?"

"6:30"

"I'll be there dude."

Jeff smiled. He was glad Stone was going to show up he was a good friend.

Stone drops him off at his house about half and hour later. "Jeff you can call me if you need to speak with me about anything."

"I know. Thanks. See you soon. Bye."

"Bye."

* * *

Sweat was pouring down Jeff's body as the cheering from the crowd gave him adrenaline.

He jumps high dunking the ball into basket getting a loud reaction from the crowd.

They were down 16 to 19. They needed to win.

They huddle together coming up with a new plan. Krist was supposed to past in to Jack who was in turn supposed to past it to Jeff.

The opposite team gets the ball first. Krist takes the ball throwing it to Jack. 

Jeff was anticipating catching the ball but instead of throwing it to him. Jack keeps it running closer. "I'm open!" Jeff yells.

Jack glances at him but throws the ball in the air it falling through the net. The crowd goes nuts cheering for Jack and running towards him showering him with affection and forgetting about Jeff's crumbling existence.

Jeff was pissed but what could he do. He glances to the now almost empty bleachers meeting Stone's green emerald eyes. Stone smiled sympathy quietly clapping for him.

Jeff smiled back really happy that Stone was showing his support. 

Jack was one of the last people to go back to the locker room and by the time he went back Jeff was the only one left.

Jeff was changing out of his sweaty clothes quiet at first glancing at Jack who grows disgusted. "Don't look at me fag."

Jeff was taken about. "What did you call me?"

"Are you deaf you fag?"

"What the hell is your problem?" 

Jack stands up and gets closer to him. "You really think I'm that stupid? Huh? Buying a fag mag for the basketball article. Come on. You could have just brought a basketball magazine. Looking at those men must have turned you on."

Jeff was so afraid and uneasy. "T-that's not true... I'm n-ot into guys."

"Really Jeff! Be real. It makes perfect sense now. You show almost no affection towards Torrie. You are never interested in sex, and you have a fag mag. I never would have suspected you."

Jeff shakes his head. He didn't want this to be happening. "Jeff what would your girlfriend or the guys think if they all knew you were a homo?"

"Don't tell them!" 

Jack's eyes go wide and Jeff puts his hand on his own mouth realizing his mistake. "You are a fag!" He moves back. "Stay away from me man. You should quit the team too, fags have no business on a basketball ball team."

Jack grabs his things and leave. Jeff stood their eyes red and glassy trying so hard not to breakdown and sob.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dunno shit about basket ball sorry.


	3. Love My Way: Pt 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> America is becoming insane. Everyone who lives here should know that. What is happening is kinda related to the story so I thought I should share.
> 
> 😂 In Seattle the city where most of the guys in this story that are still alive live in to this day. A far left resistance group overtook seven blocks of the place, called capitol hill and changed the name to the chaz (so cringe) 😂. These people are so stupid and they are listing demands like get rid of the courts and jail. Lmao. But they are so stupid. They also got the city hall. Wtf. Escape from Seattle!
> 
> 😂 This is literally as of now before it potentially becomes violent is the most funny thing to come for these protests. What the hell. 😂😂 If I was the guys from Pearl Jam I would've packed my shit and left a long time ago. 😭 It might seem far fetched but I'm being serious type up "Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone" on Wikipedia or YouTube. 😂😂 America is becoming the purge thanks to the government and media and these cities are the first to go. When I graduate I'm going to West Virginia or Alaska. Screw these cities. I wanted to go to New York but Nevermind. Screw Virginia too. These people in Seattle are LARPing. 😂😂😂

Jeff was laying in his bed dreading going to school. He had barely left his room in two days. The pit in his stomach had been unbearable. He felt so much nausea.

Jack had found out and wanted nothing to do with him. Jeff knew he'd give him hell and tell everyone else. Then he'd be known as the school homo. 

Tears spilled lightly from his eyes as he squeezed them shut.

His mother knocks on his door. "Jeff baby get up it's almost 6:00 you need to get ready."

Jeff groans staying quiet. "Jeff is everything alright?"

"Y-yeah ma. Be ready in a minute."

He forces himself to get up and get ready putting on a blank face as if he was alright.

He put on his weird hat, black long sleeve, shorts and shoes topping it off with necklaces.

Jeff didn't want to leave his room. He thought about playing sick but he knew he'd have to face the music eventually.

He painfully trudged down the steps coming face to face with his father in the kitchen.

His father was stern but was very easy to talk to. He was a good man. "Hey Son! How are you?"

"I'm fine dad."

Jeff grabs an apple not really wanting to speak hoping his father would understand. "You usually aren't this grumpy in the morning. Something on your mind?"

"I'm just tired." He rubs his eyes to be convincing.

His father was actually convinced. "Hey I have these tickets for Winnie The Pooh on Ice if you would like to go."

Jeff stares bewildered at him then laughs. "I'm a little to old but I'm sure Miriam would love to go."

He's father obliviously nods. Jeff's father was an understanding man but Jeff feared him being disappointed in him.

* * *

The bus ride was uneventful. His girlfriend didn't ride the same bus and only a couple of guys from the team did.

Jeff felt the pit in his stomach again. He wanted this day to end. He wanted to hide so badly.

He had a false sense of security when nobody stared at him with hostility. 

That was until he made his way to his locker. Krist had the locker next to his.

Jeff goes over to his locker and Krist shifts uncomfortably. "Hey man."

Krist gives him a look of discomfort making Jeff immediately tense up. "Is there something wrong?"

Krist gives him a harsh stare. "Yes you're what's wrong. Jack told me about you."

His words hit Jeff like a ton of bricks. "You have to understand..."

"Well I can't. You're a great dude Jeff but I don't want this shit rubbing off on me so stay away." Krist slammed his locker close and left leaving a extremely disheartened Jeff there alone.

Jeff was so close to crying but managed to stop himself.

He walks to class with his head down wondering how many people Jack told and was going to tell.

He sat in the far back in math this time. Jeff felt as though all eyes were on him. Every glance, or stare was towards him.

Jeff was so on edge and uneasy. He could barely pay attention.

Once class ends he's one of the first to leave. He had so much anxiety, thinking every whisper and laugh was about him.

Two guys from the basketball team pass him. "Ament we don't want you in the locker room you fag."

Jeff wanted to say something back but he lacked motivation and embarrassment hoping no one heard.

"Jeff what was that all about?" Torrie says walking over towards him.

"N-nothing."

"This is getting strange. Somebody told me you were gay earlier."

Jeff's eye's widen. "W-who?"

Torrie was becoming more apprehensive. "Doesn't matter. Why would people be saying that?"

Jeff was silent and looked so stressed. She gasps. "I have to go. I can't be late."

Jeff was completely silent letting her walk away. 

He didn't know how he'd last the rest of these extremely long hours at school. He couldn't, in his mind it was impossible.

Jeff runs, pushing past multiple people and speeding outside of the door.

While doing this he spots Jack at his car and he sees red charging at him and pushing him. 

Jeff was hysterical. "Why the hell are you spreading lies about me?"

Jack was a little caught of guard. "What lies?" He smirks.

He pushes Jeff back who pushes him back and manages to get him leaning up against the car. "You know what you told them."

"How are they lies?"

Jeff was so close to decking him. The crowd surrounding was becoming bigger. Mr. Cantrell their English pushes through the crowd and manages to separate the two. "Would you two cut it out?"

Jack dusts himself off. "What's this all about?"

"Tell him to keep his faggot hands off of me." Jack leaves feeling so annoyed.

Mr. Cantrell gets a glimpse of Jeff who's eye's are red and glassy. He was so close to crying before he runs off. Mr. Cantrell was concerned and thinking about running after him but concluded it would be best for him to just let him go for now.

* * *

Jeff had tears running down his face as he sat inside the phone booth. He hastily dialed Stone's number hoping he'd pick up.

The line rings for a handful seconds. "Hello?"

"Stone." Jeff's voice was breaking and he sounded so sad.

"Jeff? Shouldn't you be in school."

"I-

"What's wrong?"

Jeff felt as though saying it was impossible. He almost couldn't speak. "Jeff?"

"I...um- can we..." He gives up, not being able to finish his sentence.

"Jeff where are you?"

Jeff manages to give him a location with his voice cracking and shaky. 

Stone arrives about twenty minutes later parking his car right in front of the booth. 

He knocks on the door getting Jeff's attention. The boy had tears in his eyes and had a look of wretchedness. 

Jeff felt pretty embarrassed Stone had to see him like this, but he had no one else to call.

"Jeff let's go." He holds his hand out for Jeff to take and he does. 

Stone leads him in the car, getting in after him.

He rubs Jeff's hand and starts driving. Jeff doesn't ask where he trusted Stone not to do anything stupid.

Stone drives to a huge empty field in front of an old and rundown abandoned home. "Remember when we first met here? I was trying to record some shots for a film I was working on and you were there taking pictures."

Jeff smiles at the memory. "Yeah I remember that as clear as day."

"Come on follow me."

Jeff follows him walking through the field and walking to the backyard of the abandoned house.

They sit down on some of the old discarded chairs. "You actually come back here dude?"

"I used to sometimes. Then I realized what was the point of staying in a house rent free if I could just use all of my life savings to by a one room apartment."

Jeff grins slightly noting it was nothing more than Stone's usual sarcasm.

Stone thinks about the task at hand the only reason why they were there. "So Jeff. What's going on? Why did you leave school? And why were you crying?"

Jeff was hesitant. He didn't know if he should tell him. Though it was Stone for crying out loud. He'd understand better than anyone. "Jeff you can tell me anything."

"...Stone h-how did you know you were gay?"

Stone was surprised by the question not expecting it. "Well, I always knew I suppose. I never like girls or felt any attraction to them. It was different with guys. I thought about men the same way most guys think about girls."

Jeff was quiet just listening...and understanding. "Why? You know somebody that's gay?"

Jeff shook his head. Should he be surprised Stone didn't think it was him? Jeff just wanted to get it over with he was tired of his angst gnawing at him. "....Stone...I um, I...think I might be gay."

It wasn't as hard to say as he thought it would be but saying it out loud made it become reality.

Stone was stunned but supportive. He grabs Jeff's hand in support. "It's difficult to come to terms with, I know.But there is nothing to be ashamed of."

Jeff snorts. "I'm not even sure of anything anymore. My life is over."

Stone rolls his eyes. "No it isn't...I'm not the only one who knows am I?"

"...No. I don't know what I was thinking. I had this magazine.. You know _those_ magazines and it was just sitting in my drawer. I shouldn't be surprised the guys found it. I'm fucked Stone. Jack and Krist don't want to have anything to do with me. Jack is telling the whole fucking team.... Torrie knows too."

Stone didn't realize it already gotten that bad. "Jeff screw them. If they're so immature to leave you all because you might have a different sexual orientation then clearly they aren't your friends."

"Yeah well besides you all of my friends are from school. I don't want to go back they'll destroy me. I feel so disgusted with myself."

"Do you feel disgusted with me?"

"What?! No."

"Jeff I know exactly what you are feeling. I've been there... I almost didn't make it out alive. You know that. I don't really think your disgusted with yourself. You're confused and trying to figure out what you're feeling. You need to come to terms and accept yourself. If you try to repress this for even longer it will only hurt you worst."

"Stone. I just... I feel like everything is happening so fast. I don't understand anything. I just wanted to prove to myself I was normal. I thought I loved Torrie at first but the first time she tried to get intimate I knew something was wrong. I don't know why I feel this way but I do. I can't help it. I can't change it but apart of me wants to just so I can fit in. I know I shouldn't think like that but I do."

Stone rubs Jeff's hand that he's still holding. "I know Jeff. I know. But you're not alone. You know that. You have me. Even if the whole school is against you I'm here and I'll continue to be here."

Jeff gently smiled. He was glad he had Stone. If he wasn't around, he'd have no one. Jeff doesn't know what he'd do without him. "I think that maybe you should tell your parents. They should know."

"I can't do that."

"You're parents seem nice. I'm sure they'll accept you."

"I don't want to disappoint them Stone."

"Yeah I know I felt the same. My folks didn't take it well. But regardless of what you do I here okay."

Jeff moves his hand from Stone's and hugs him. "Thank you so much Stone. I'm glad you understand."

Stone runs his hands through Jeff's long hair. "Of course I understand. I always will."


	4. Love My Way: Pt 4

There was a moving truck parked outside the vacant house next to Jeff the whole day before. After Stone took him back home it had been there for a good hour. Jeff was too busy making sure his parents didn't find out he ditched class to care.

Luckily for him they didn't. Now he was sitting at the bus stop dreading the day. He wanted to turn back home and make an excuse as to why he couldn't go. But ultimately he stayed there.

He was the only one at the bus stop since his neighbor moved.

He stood there for a good two minutes before he hears footsteps. He turns seeing a boy run hastily towards the bus stop.

He stops next to Jeff giving him a glance but not saying anything.

From what Jeff could tell he was tall and had long curly brown hair. Jeff didn't know if he should speak. This kid would probably find out about him just like everyone else was going to and not want to have anything to do with him. But his gut urged him to speak. "You're new."

The other boy looked at him. "Y-yeah I am." He sounded pretty awkward.

Jeff noticed his light blue eyes. The boy had a jean jacket, band shirt and shorts. "What's you're name? I'm Jeff."

"Chris." He sounded flattered that Jeff even asked.

"What grade are you in? I'm a junior."

Chris felt a little awkward that he was getting talked to so quickly. He never even expected to make friends. Chris normally wasn't shy. But he felt so uneasy that he was in a new town not to mention everything he rather forget that brought him and his family there. 

"I'm a junior too."

Jeff had nothing else to say to keep the conversation going. Chris in all his awkward glory decides to speak some more. "Nice hat."

Jeff grins. "Thanks, nice face."

Chris smiles and Jeff internally face palms. He was sure he sounded extremely gay and it made him conscious. "Thanks man. It takes a lot of make up to keep it up."

He was joking and Jeff smiles at it liking his sense of humour. Though he knew these moments probably wouldn't last.

"I'm pretty worried they'll toss me in a locker." Chris says.

"Well If you're seen with me you will be."

Chris was confused by his comment. The bus pulls up and the pit in Jeff's stomach forms. He was fucked, and he wanted Stone.

Jeff purposely walks behind Chris with his head down. That didn't stop him from getting notice getting a few disgusted looks.

Him and Chris sit in the same seat close to the back unfortunately behind some of his teammates. Dwight and Elkin.

They turn around and immediately start harassing him. "Ew, Jeff you've got some nerve sitting your faggot ass behind us." Dwight says.

Jeff rolls his eyes and looks down trying not to cry from the embarrassment. Chris was confused by what was happening. "I can sit where I want."

Elkin snorts. "No you can't we don't want your ferry ass trying to rub off on us. We don't want you in the locker room. We refuse to have a fag in the locker room trying to advance with us."

Jeff snarls and Chris starts becoming less confused and more concerned. "I'm not, I never even said I was fucking gay in the first place."

Dwight jumps back in. "Jack said so and we believe him. We don't need or want you on the team. Coach will agree when word finally gets around that his shooting guard sucks dick."

Jeff was fuming, he wanted to yell and scream and just tear something apart. He was surprised when someone actually stood up for him. "Hey! Quit talking to him like that." Chris says.

The two boys turn their attention to him and stare. "Aww. Look at what we have here Dwight. Jeff's boyfriend. He must be horrible in bed."

The whole bus was listening in now and laughing at Jeff making his nightmare feel more real.

Chris smirks. "Wouldn't you like to know. You talk about how much of a fag he is so much you seem obsessed." Chris decides to add gasoline to the flames. 

'So much for not getting thrown into a locker.' Chris thinks.

"Actually he's wonderful in bed." Chris quickly kisses Jeff's cheek leaving everyone stunned. "Right sweety?"

Jeff's mouth was agape. He didn't know what the fuck Chris was thinking. "Y-yep"

"Oh my gosh another fucking faggot." Dwight exclaims. Him and Elkin turn around. Jeff turns to Chris who cautiously smirks.

* * *

Chris was close to walking into the school before Jeff stopped him. "Why'd you do that?"

Jeff was very weary of stepping inside knowing his torment would only get worse.

Chris smiles awkwardly. "Those guys were very homophobic. It wasn't right."

"Look dude I told you before if you don't want to get thrown into a locker you should stay away from me. You heard what they said."

"So what? Who cares if you're gay. You seem like a cool dude. Besides I'm bi."

Jeff smiled, kinda relived Chris clearly wasn't like the rest of them. 

As soon as they go inside Jeff gets hit with a barrage of insults and Chris wasn't immune.

"What classes do you have?" Jeff asks after they find out his locker is close to his. 

Chris shows him his schedule. "Oh we have some of the same classes."

Krist grimaces when he sees Jeff talking to a new boy. Krist really wanted to get a locker far away from him. Jeff was nervous knowing Krist probably wouldn't keep his mouth shut.

And he was right. "New guy you might want to get far away from him. He's no good."

Chris glances at the really tall boy. "Why? Because he's gay or something. Okay and."

Krist was shocked. "Are you on drugs. They are disgusting."

Chris rolls his eyes. "I guess I must be disgusting then."

Krist scowls. "Yeah you must be. Why must there be so many queers."

Jeff was starting to like Chris. He was awkward but seemed much more confident than Jeff was at the moment. Maybe it was just defiance and not wanting to bend the knee and cower in fear.

Just then Krist notices the boy he usually picks on Dave Grohl walking awkwardly with his books in hand almost dropping them and his shoes were united. "Hey David!" Krist says cheerfully. Dave turns looking mortified. He wasn't stupid he knew Krist was trying to fuck with him.

Dave walks away quickly. "Dave that's very rude of you."

Dave keeps going. "FAG!!" Krist says loud enough for almost everyone in the crowded hallway to hear and stare at Dave making him very uncomfortable since he always assumes everyone is staring at him.

"Cut it the fuck out Krist." Jeff says.

"Gonna stop me?"

Buy the time Krist turns his attention back to Dave he's gone. "Fuck! Why am I not surprised. Faggots have to stick together am I right."

Krist slams his locker shut and storms away.

* * *

The day was exhausting. Jeff didn't see Torrie or Jack and he was surprised nobody wrote Fag on his locker yet. 

Jack and Torrie must have been trying to avoid him. Good. Jeff was dreading going to practice the next day. He wanted to skip it so bad.

The ride back home was even more horrific. More people had heard the rumours.

"Thanks for showing me around today man. I was sure I was going to get lost today."

Jeff snorts. "The only thing I did was make you become the other school homo."

"I don't mind." Truth was Chris delt with much, much worse. So people knowing about his sexuality wasn't really priority.

Jeff knew his folks and sister weren't home. Chris seemed really nice. "Would you like to come over?"

Chris was surprised that he had offered since they had only known each other for a few hours. His parents were still home but they probably wouldn't mind him going to the house next door. "Sure. It's better than starting on homework I won't finish right away."

Jeff shows him inside the modest looking house. They go up to his room

Chris sits in his desk and notices a discarded basketball. "You play on the basketball team right? Those guys on the bus were your teammates?"

"Yeah so was Krist. I probably won't even be allowed in the locker room tommorow. Coach will probably kick me out once he finds out."

"They shouldn't be able to do that. I mean Why does it matter who you like? You're strong for even coming out."

Jeff's eyes go wide. "Slow down man. I didn't come out of anywhere....I've been questioning myself for a long time. My former best friends found my magazine. Jack this asshole found out then he told Krist, somebody told my girlfriend then the team. Now the whole school is finding out that the basketball team's shooting guard might be a queer."

Chris sympathized with him. "Wow... That's a lot to happen for someone who's still questioning it. They really act like they've never seen a gay before."

"They probably haven't. If there are any at school they probably aren't out. Who would want to be. You seem open."

Chris swirls in the chair. "No not really. Not too many people know. I'll probably lie if someone asks. But I have too much extra baggage to where me being bi probably doesn't matter."

Jeff was becoming interested in his backstory but he doesn't ask. "Where'd you move from?"

Chris starts looking uneasy and uncomfortable. "I rather not talk about it. Sorry."

"It's alright. If you're uncomfortable with talking about it that's fine."

Chris had a lot of questions about school and he wanted to ask. "Jeff. The guy Krist was picking on Dave what was that all about?"

"Dave? He's pretty weird and awkward so that makes him an easy target. Krist doesn't pick on him too much usually. Especially since I made him stop. It must be free real estate I guess."

"Oh okay...so do you still have that magazine...because I mean it could be useful in ways and I wouldn't mind seeing photos of hot older men."


	5. Love My Way: Pt 5

Jeff knew it would eventually happen. Getting Faggot written on his locker. It was scrawled in Big Red Letters.

He grabbed his books and slammed his locker shut with Chris next to his side. "Jeff If I was you I'd beat them up."

"I wish but what's the point especially if it's the whole school. I don't even know who did it."

"Are you still going to practice later?"

"I don't know...It might not be a good idea."

Torrie stops in front of him making Jeff uneasy. "Jeff...can we talk?"

He didn't know what he should do. He didn't want things to get worse but he knew he should just get it over with.

"Yeah sure." He turns to Chris. "Go ahead man I'll catch up."

Torrie drags him outside to an empty bench. "Jeff...why didn't you tell me before?"

He was hesitant. "I didn't know. I still don't really know."

"Did you feel anything for me?"

"I thought I did. I tried to convince myself that I did. Before you ask. I do love you but not in that way."

He leaves before anything can get out of hand hoping she accepted his answer.

* * *

Jeff decided that there was no way he was going to be able to go to practice. He went to coach before school was even over and claimed was sick and just couldn't do it.

Jeff had never been sick before so he believed him. Jeff was so relieved but had no idea what he was going to do tommorow.

"So you got out of it man?" Chris asks after they meet up at the end of the day.

"Yeah, luckily. I probably won't be too lucky tommorow."

Chris and Jeff were walking towards the bus until Jeff heard his name. He jerked his head and sees a waving Stone making his heart warm. "Stone!"

Chris was confused. "Oh Chris That's Stone he's my friend. Come on I'll introduce you."

Chris follows him to Stone's car. "Hi Jeff."

Jeff hugs him and stone hugs right back.

"Stone what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to give you a ride home. I thought maybe we could go somewhere."

Jeff lights up. He loved hanging out with Stone. "I'd like that." Jeff realizes Chris is still there. "Stone this is Chris. He just moved here. He's my new friend."

Stone was surprised Jeff made a new friend in the midst of all this. Not that he didn't want him to it was just surprising.

"Nice to meet you." Stone says extending his hand to a now awkward Chris.

Chris shakes the other man's hand. "Y-you too."

Stone grins amused by how Awkward he seems. "Has anyone ever told you, you look like teenage jesus."

It was dry and seemed serious but the smirk on Stone's face show's he's only joking. Still making Chris feel flustered.

Some of their classmates pass them. "Ew Ament and Cornell if you want to have a fag love session with your pimp do it somewhere else."

Chris and Jeff roll their eyes. Jeff wanted to say something back and was pretty embarrassed Stone had to witness that.

Stone felt horrible for Jeff of course. He didn't like seeing his friend go through something like this all over something he couldn't control. 

He rubs Jeff's cheek. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

"How about you?" Stone asks Chris.

"I'm fine. I really have to go before I miss the bus. See you Jeff. It was nice meeting you Stone."

They say their goodbyes and he's off. 

* * *

"Jeff how bad has it gotten?"

"It's been horrible. "

Stone peels his eyes off the road to glance at him. "Shouldn't you be at practice?"

"Stone I said it was bad. Basketball isn't a acception. I should just quit."

"But you love basketball."

Jeff sighs. "Well the guys hate my guts and think I'm going to turn them gay and harass them. There is no way I'm going back....would you?"

"No probably not...but I'm not you. I just want you happy."

Jeff cracks a smile."Where are we going?"

Stone smiles wickedly. "You'll see."

When they pull into the parking lot of a club Jeff finds it odd but not too alarming. "Stone I'm pretty sure I'm not allowed to be in a club."

"It's seventeen and up. You're seventeen so you're free to enjoy."

Jeff shakes his head at Stone's out of the box wording.

As soon as they walk in Jeff notices something insanely odd. There are almost no women there. A lot of the men were close to his and Stone's age. They all seemed intimate. With the way they looked at each other, and the touches lingering for too long.

Then there was the hand holding and kisses no one seemed to care about. Jeff was internally screaming. "Stone, are you serious? You took me to a gay club."

Stone grins. "Calm down Jeff. I thought this would be a great place to take you so you can finally come to terms with yourself."

"It seems like you just trying to get into my pants Gossard."

Stone rolls his eyes. "Whatever. If that was the case I wouldn't need to take you all the way to a gay bar to do it."

Jeff blushes. "If that's so than where would you take me?"

Stone's face turns red. "Ament you tell me about your situation and then two days later you're already flirting with me."

"N-No I'm not! Where did you even get that idea."

"I know it when I see it."

They get a booth that was pretty obscure to anyone who didn't go further back in the dark bar. "Stone why'd get a booth? Especially one this far back."

"I don't know. I like privacy...what do you think I'm going to try something?"

"I'm not saying that. I'm just curious, that's all."

Stone throws an arm around him and Jeff leans in.

"...Stone can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"H-how is kissing another man different from kissing a woman?"

Stone takes a puff of the cigarette he lit. "Damn Jeff I don't know I never kissed a girl before. You have, so when you ever kiss a man you'll know. It's all about feeling's."

Jeff was getting anxious thinking about all of the questions he had. "Do you think I'll ever learn to accept myself?"

"Yes. You're already starting to I can tell."

Jeff scoffs. "Hardly. I hate this. I hate the way I feel. I hate how everyone's treating me differently now. I can't stand it."

"Jeff you're being forced to face this head on. I know you would have it rather be a secret or a secret curiosity that you would have gotten over. I understand. You hate this now because of how people are reacting and how people are going to react. I know how your feeling. But I can tell with how you aren't trying so hard to deny it you're slowly accepting it."

Jeff became quiet. Stone hit it on the nail. "Okay. This might sound gay as hell. But how do you have sex?"

Now Stone was the one blushing. "It depends. If you're on bottom you're the one taking it. If you're on top you're the one giving it."

"How do you know if you want to be top or bottom?"

"Trust me Jeff you know.... Like me and you for instance. Do you ever see you fucking me?"

Jeff laughs a little feeling embarrassed by the question. "No... I don't. If we ever got together I see you easily being on top."

Stone was red again. "Yeah and I wouldn't have it any other way."

A song starts playing from the speakers and Jeff immediately lights up.

_"There's an army on the dance floor"_

_"It's a fashion with a gun my love"_

"Stone I fucking love this song."

Stone laughs. "Seriously? This doesn't seem like your cup of tea."

_"In a room without a door"_

"I know. But I really like this song a lot."

Stone stubs out his cigarette and holds out his hand. "Wanna dance?"

Jeff under normal circumstances wouldn't have accepted so easily. But he felt giddy in the inside. He took Stone's soft hand and was tugged to the dance floor.

_"A kiss is not enough in"_

Stone places one arm around Jeff's back and the other on his hip. He sways Jeff along who in turn is having a very hard time knowing what to do.

"Stone I can't dance."

"Jeff you don't need to know how to dance. Just follow me."

He spins Jeff making him blush madly.

_"Love my way, It's a new road  
I follow where my mind goes"_

Jeff tries to get off the dance floor feeling embarrassed. Only for Stone to grab his hand seductively pulling him back. Jeff doesn't expect it when Stone dips him.

_They'd put us on a railroad  
They'd dearly make us pay  
For laughing in their faces  
And making it our way  
There's emptiness behind their eyes  
There's dust in all their hearts  
They just want to steal us all  
And take us all apart  
But not in_

He lifts Jeff back up and they catch each other's eyes. 

Jeff feels like he's drowning in Stone's blue eyes and he doesn't dare to look away.

Stone now had both arms wrapped around Jeff and his in turn were laying on Stone's shoulders.

Stone can tell he had Jeff flushed. He doesn't peel his eyes off his as he grabbed his hand intertwining their fingers.

He rocks his hips rhythmically from side to side making Jeff absolutely entranced and do the same thing with less rhythm.

_"Love my way, it's a new road  
I follow where my mind goes"_

No one payed them any mind. Jeff knew he shouldn't have been dancing with a friend like this but he couldn't stop himself from rocking to the beat with Stone.

_"Swallow all your tears my love  
And put on your new face  
You can never win or lose  
If you don't run the race"_

* * *

Stone had an arm around Jeff walking him out of the bar. Jeff was in a daze. "How did you like this place?"

"It was fucking amazing Stone." He wouldn't admit why.

Stone glanced at his face fighting the urge to kiss him. Jeff was still questioning himself so Stone didn't want to fuck everything up by jumping the gun or scaring him off. Jeff probably didn't like him but Stone doubted it. 

He noticed the way Jeff looked at him and how he acted. But Stone didn't want to push it. So for now he'll just drive him home. 


	6. Love My Way: Pt 6

Jeff just knew something horrible was going to happen. He could feel it. Maybe it was just his nerves.

Chris stood next to him at the bus stop looking extremely tired.

"Chris are you okay dude. You look like hell."

Chris rubs his eyes. "Yeah man my s-brother kept me up late that's all."

"You have a brother! How old is he?"

Chris was a little hesitant to answer. "He's four. You have a sister right?"

"Yeah man she's six and a pain in the ass."

Chris chuckles. "Yeah tell me about it. Ki- Siblings can be such a handful."

Jeff nods anxiously waiting for the bus to come so they could get the day over with.

"Ready for another day of hell?"

"Honestly Jeff. Not gonna lie. I've personally delt with much worse so this isn't the most unpleasant."

They get quiet again. The only sounds are coming from the wind and passing cars. The bus pulls up and they both groan.

Needless to say they were met with whispers, stares, dirty looks, insults and from the most immature things pelted at them.

Jeff knew this was probably go on for the rest of the year and if the they had long attention spans for next year as well.

Him and Chris were the last people off since it seemed like the best idea and ultimately it was.

"Do you think you and your old friends are ever going to be friends again?" Chris asks before they enter the building.

"Nope. I doubt they want to be. And if they do I doubt I can forget everything that's happening. Maybe I need to move on."

Chris knew a lot about moving on or trying to at least.

The barrage of insults thrown at them was starting to become nothing new. Krist wasn't at his locker and Jeff's locker was still vandalized.

Chris's was this time as well having a crudely drawn dick on his locker. Jeff tries not the laugh at the offensive drawing. "Jeff I feel so offended. These three inches are inaccurate I'm a good seven."

Jeff chuckles. "I'll take your word for it."

Jeff's coach walks up to him putting him on Edge. "Jeff I would like to have a word with you. Now."

Jeff nods and tells Chris not to wait for him. Coach drags Jeff all the way to his office locking the door and having him sit down.

"Do you know why I called you in here?"

Jeff looks down mumbling. "No."

Coach sighs. "Jeff I've been hearing a lot of awful rumors."

Jeff was silent, with a horrible pit in his stomach fearful of what was going to happen next. "What could that be?"

"Jeff I think you know. The boys were making crude remarks about you. Calling you gay slurs. The boys said they were uncomfortable having you in the locker room and felt unsafe with you on the team. Not to mention what they wrote on your locker. What's that all about."

Jeff sunk lower in his seat. "Just a misunderstanding."

"Jeff is this really just a misunderstanding? You have a girlfriend don't you? We can go talk to the guys and clear this up before the game next week."

Jeff was thinking about lying and telling him what he wanted to hear and being dishonest but Stone's words flashed in his head.

_"You need to come to terms and accept yourself. If you try to repress this for even longer it will only hurt you worst."_

Stone was right. "...Actually. I don't need to talk with them. They won't listen anyways...It won't change a thing."

Coach was surprised. "Wait you aren't denying anything?"

"What's there to deny if I don't even know myself."

Coach was dreading this. "Jeff you know I can't have you on the team right."

Jeff was depressed but he lightly nods keeping silent. He wasn't too shocked however. Maybe it was for the best. He was still extremely disappointed.

* * *

Chris and Jeff met back up in class right before the bell rang and Jeff's depressed face said a lot.

"You got kicked off the team didn't you?"

Jeff slowly nods. He wanted to cry. Sure he didn't try to stop him but what was the point. He knew it wouldn't solve anything. He just wanted to be strong but he wasn't.

Chris pats his shoulder. "It will be alright. It's not the end of the world. Basketball isn't that good anyway...don't you have any other hobbies."

Jeff groans. He didn't think about the possibility of having to do something else. "Photography, I suppose. But what's the point nobody wants the queer."

Chris wanted to tell him that wasn't true but what would that solve. It was happening and they couldn't change that.

They took their seats in the back. As soon as everyone entered the room Jeff and Chris could feel the animosity.

They felt it more with the gay jokes and insults.

Jeff and Chris were the last to leave getting a weird look from the teacher thanks to the rumors.

"This day fucking blows." Jeff complains to Chris.

"Yeah but the day has barely started. We have a long ways to go."

Jeff felt so much dread. He just wanted to go home and lie down. "I can't take much more of this. I'm going to fucking loose it."

"Calm down Jeff. School ends in a few hours."

"So what? This won't end. It will only get worse."

Chris knew Jeff was very upset and he couldn't blame him. He'd only known him for a few days and Jeff got terrorized the whole time. So Chris couldn't help but worry knowing it was all getting to him.

* * *

It was the end up of day and the two met back up. Jeff was even more depressed but was slightly happy the day was over and he wouldn't have to deal with any of this for at least a few hours.

"I have so much homework Jeff how do you do it all?"

Jeff grins. "The art of doing it all is not doing it."

Chris nods at the genius advice. The two were too caught up in conversation to notice Jack approaching Jeff with a bucket.

It wasn't until Jeff held the bucket higher when Chris noticed him and few team mates including Krist.

"Jeff watch out!"

Jeff groans in confusion. By the time he looks up the bucket is already being dumped on his head.

The impact was hard. Jeff was drenched in water. His hat and clothes were completely soaked. 

He was outraged, shocked and embarrassed. Those who noticed in the hallway and it was most of them got completely silent. Making Jeff feel like the world stopped. 

His mouth was agape reacting to the freezing cold water.

He opens his eyes and stares straight at Jack with the most gloomy and solemn look ever. Jack just laughs. "Aww Jeff are you gonna cry. You're such a whiney homo you can't handle a little water. I'm glad coach kicked you off the team we don't want you there. We're much better off."

Jeff was silent with his lip quivering. Chris was fuming. "What the fuck is your problem! What did he ever to you?! He's different so what? Are you so immature you can't stand the fact of someone different from you existing."

"Shut up fag. We should've got you too. But you were lucky." Krist says making Chris want to deck him.

Some in the hallway start laughing and cracking jokes while others feel pity. Jeff wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

Mr. Cantrell heard some of the commotion deciding to a get look for himself. Being unfortunate enough to be dragged into another fight between Jack and Jeff.

"What's going on here?" He says mostly targeted to Jack.

"That jackass threw water on Jeff." Chris says.

Jack rolls his eyes "Boo hoo. You take it up the ass. Jeff is nothing but that a fag. He's only good on his hands and knees not on a basketball court."

Jeff looses it. Jack's mocking tone sending him over the edge. He decks him making Jack whine in pain.

Mr. Cantrell immediately pulls them apart. "Cut it out and calm down."

Krist runs up to Jack to check on him. "Mr. Cantrell aren't you going to do discipline Jeff he just assaulted Jack."

"It sure doesn't seem like he was the aggressor. Just get out of here before I throw you and your band of macho lunatics into detention."

The basketball them scurries off leaving Jeff embarrassed standing there next to Chris. "Jeff are you alright?" Mr. Cantrell asks.

Jeff just shakes his head and leaves Chris following after him.

* * *

Jeff was dead silent on the bus. Everyone looked and stared at him thinking he was a freak for being so wet.

He hops off the bus and his parents were gone of course. "Dude are you gonna be alright alone?" 

Jeff mumbles. "I'm fine. Thanks for worrying though, bye."

He doesn't turn around leaving Chris concerned.

Jeff walks into his house slamming and locking the door. He can't will himself to go to his room so he collapses on the couch.

Jeff starts crying, tears streaming down his face. He couldn't help himself. He felt so embarrassed and ashamed. He knew it would only get worse from here. They wouldn't stop, nothing was going to stop.

They wouldn't let up. His best friends for years and years were so quick to turn on him. He had almost no one.

He felt so helpless and weak. He didn't know what to do. But he knew he needed someone.

Jeff wills himself to the phone and shakily dials the number. 

"Stone!"

Jeff didn't even wait to see if the line picked up. "Jeff is something wrong?"

Jeff still had tears running down his face lightly sniffing. "Gosh. Are you crying?'

"C-can yo-u come over.. PLEASE."

Stone could tell Jeff desperately needed him and it was urgent. "I'm on my way hang on. I'll be right there."

Stone hangs up. Jeff is left sitting there regretting calling him and wasting his time. He was thinking about calling him back and telling him not to show up but he couldn't.

It seems like it only took a few minutes for Stone to show up knocking on the door. "Jeff it's me."

Jeff opens the door revealing his wet body and tear soaked face. "Oh Jeff what the hell happened?"

Jeff doesn't make eye contact just wrapping his arms around Stone and throwing his head on his shoulder crying.

Stone throws his arms around him letting him sob all he wants.

* * *

After about almost ten minutes Stone got Jeff to sit down. "What happened in school?"

Jeff wasn't crying anymore. "I got kicked off the basketball team. Then Jack poured a bucket of cold water on me in front of the whole fucking school. It was so embarrassing."

Stone rubs his cheek. "I'm sorry that happened. You don't deserve that."

"It doesn't matter Stone. Nothing is going to change. I just want to disappear."

"No, don't say that. You don't mean that."

"Yes I do Stone. I wish none of this happened. If I just disappeared I wouldn't have to deal with this I'll be much better off."

Jeff stares into his eyes and all Stone can see is uncertainty. "Jeff. You're just afraid and sacred. You're afraid of all of the negative attention this will bring. You're upset over everything that's happening it's probably the worst week of your life."

"Why is this happening Stone? My life has completely changed all because I'm different. Why? Nothing will ever be the same."

"I don't know Jeff. Why does anything happen? People are assholes I guess."

Stone started rubbing his neck. "What happens now?"

"I think you should tell your parents now."

Jeff groans. "No Stone they'll be disappointed. Their son is most likely gay and got kicked off the basketball team."

"If not you'll just put it off more and more until it becomes a huge thing you can't get out of. I was just like you awhile back. I know why you're afraid. I told my folks and they thought I had a problem that needed to be cured. So they sent me away to a camp to cure the gay away. I didn't feel any different. I was so afraid, I didn't want to hurt myself, I was just so sacred I took pills and it almost killed me. I don't want you to be like me Jeff. I want you to accept yourself and finally be happy."

Jeff knew about what Stone went through he told him before. But for the longest time Jeff thought he was listening to his friend that happened to be gay troubled past. Not that he would be listening to if for advice over his own sexuality.

"If I tell them when they come home can you please stay here with me. I can't do this alone."

Stone reaches out for his hand intertwining their fingers. "I'm not leaving. Even if you wanted me to."

They stayed like that for sometime until Jeff's parents and sister came home.

Miriam said nothing running off to her room to play barbies. "Don't go too fast make sure you don't trip." Mrs. Ament says.

His parents turn their attention to him and Stone. Jeff looked really beat up, sad and anxious. They were extremely worried.

"Son are you alright?" His father asks.

Jeff was quiet feeling really shy about the whole thing. "Oh baby were you crying?" His mother asks.

Stone squeezes his hand letting him know he isn't alone. "I-I have to tell you something."

His parents look at each other and take a seat in the couch in front of him.

His mother was the first to speak. "You can tell us anything. Sweety."

Jeff looked down conflicted. "Jeff. Whatever you have to tell us won't change a thing." His father says.

Stone rub his fingers with his thumb. "I think I might be...gay."

He felt relieved but petrified when he said it. He wanted to see their reactions and couldn't really tell what they were thinking.

They didn't look disgusted which was a good sign. His father studied him before softly grinning. "Jeff son. We aren't disgusted or disappointed. There's nothing to be ashamed of."

"We're here for you. You'll be okay." His mother says.

Jeff can't help but smile slightly. Stone was right again. He was so content when his parents pulled him into a group hug accepting him for who he was. It was made even better by Stone's smile that stayed on him the whole time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm listening to Mad Season right now. Mike Mccready and Layne Stanley's other band and they are fucking amazing. 👍✌


	7. Love My Way: Pt 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter of Love My Way. I should have the first chapter of the next story written in a couple of days. Thanks for reading! I really enjoyed writing this one. Definitely one of my favorites.

Jeff felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders after he told his parents. He was so relieved when they accepted him.

He thought for sure they wouldn't of. But they did and they were worried about him. They knew he'd probably get bullied and ridiculed if anyone found out and he already was.

They thought about talking to teachers or coach but that wouldn't work. So instead they were peeking from the door watching Jeff with proud eyes like it was the first day of kindergarten.

Jeff grins and shakes his head. Chris stands next to him looking even tireder. "Your brother keep you up late again?"

Chris stretches. "Yeah man. He's a handful and a little monster. But a sweetheart." He notices the grin on Jeff's face. "Are you going to be okay after everything that happened yesterday?"

Jeff brightly smiles. "Yep. My parents know now."

Chris was happy for him noticing his parents from the door. "My parents know about me too. I honestly thought you were smiling over that man Stone."

Jeff blushes. "Kinda about him too."

Chris nods. "I see... You're parents are acting like it's your first day of school."

Jeff laughs. "Yeah man. I can't blame them though. They're just worried. They could've disown me if they wanted too."

Chris thinks about everything that's happened to himself in the last few years. "Mine too."

Jeff was getting bored. "Do you have any other siblings besides your brother?"

"I have an older brother. He's in college on the other side of the country." Chris says sparse with the details.

The bus appears and Jeff's parents wave him off from the door as if it was his final farewell making Chris bust out laughing.

They got looks, whispers and slurs just like before but Jeff didn't let it phase him as much. He couldn't let what they thought control him.

* * *

"Wanna hangout this weekend?" Jeff asked Chris as they stood at their lockers.

"Yes! That gives me something to do. Whatever we do I'm totally in."

Before they can walk to class Torrie passes them smiling lightly at Jeff and waving. He does the same relived she doesn't hate him.

The day went by uneventful besides the insults and jokes until they got to Mr. Cantrell's class.

Jeff sat in the seat in front of Chris. The class seemed to be surprising normal. Not too many insults at first. Then a boy who was drawing in his notebook for the past several minutes hands it to an eager friend. 

He laughs glancing at Jeff, who in turn is just confused. The boy passes it to another friend who opens it and laughs louder catching Mr. Cantrell's attention. He glances but does nothing.

A girl gets handed it giggling and passing it to her bff who loudly snorts. Mr. Cantrell was getting annoyed by whatever was distracting them.

It gets passed to Chris somehow who grimaces and hands it to Jeff.

Jeff reads the paper with a look of disgust. 

_Pay Jeff Fagment 5 bucks and he'll go down like the sun on any man incredibly large or small behind the bushes in the court yard._

👬

_Because he's a slut! ; )_

Mr. Cantrell frankly having enough of the distraction snatches the paper from Jeff's hand. He reads it and gives Jeff a sympathetic look. "Okay Who the hell wrote this?"

The class goes dead silent. "Do you all think this is funny?" Jerry was getting angry which was unusual for the normally chill teacher.

Of course the class clown Delgado has to mutter something. "Yes."

His group of friends chuckle making Jerry even more pissed. "Oh really? How would you all like it if this was made about you."

"Mr. Cantrell. If you didn't realize none of us are fags." A student says.

Jerry trudges to the front of the classroom. "Is that so? Does that really make a difference. Everyone has feelings. But you all are either too heartless or stupid. Pick one. I should give all of you who laughed at this detention or make you apologize."

Everyone becomes more serious and stays quiet making Jerry sigh. "Why do I even bother? The next person who interrupts my classroom gets a one way ticket to the principles office."

Everyone became silent shadows after that. Once the bell rang everyone was quick to leave.

"Jeff can I have a word with you?" Mr. Cantrell asks.

Jeff quietly groans but stays behind taking the seat Mr. Cantrell pulled up in front of his desk. "I've noticed the students have been giving you a really hard time lately."

Jeff takes a glance at him. For a teacher Mr. Cantrell sure didn't look like one. He usually wore a vest, jeans, and boots. He had very long blonde hair and a tattoo on his arm and piercings. He was only twenty three.

"It's nothing. It doesn't really matter."

Jerry lays his feet on his own desk. "Jeff I want to help you. I don't like seeing you get constantly picked on. Especially by old friends."

Jeff looks down at the floor. "I think I'm gay. That's why everyone hates my guts."

Jerry was dismayed by this revelation but he wasn't surprised. "They don't hate your guts."

Jeff scoffs. "Getting water poured on me by my ex best friend sure seems like hate to me."

"Dude. They really don't hate you. They're just just afraid and confused. They believe things that have been instilled in them. And because you're different you're an easy target."

"Mr. Cantrell this has already been very difficult and life changing and it's only been a couple of weeks. Have they ever thought about how I felt getting treated like dirt because I'm an "easy target"." 

"You know kids are immature. I'm sure a lot of them will regret what they've done in the future."

Jeff groans. "Sure."

"I want to make sure you're okay. I don't want their words to deeply affect you."

"I'm fine. I'm just having a hard time dealing with this. And their words are getting to me even if I don't want them to. It doesn't matter you won't understand."

"I do understand." Jerry blurts out getting Jeff to look at him in surprise. "I mean I..."

"....You!? badass Mr. Cantrell is a homo?"

Jerry was hesitant. "I shouldn't even be telling you this but yeah I guess."

"Did they give you a hard time?"

"Well actually no one really knows. Not my parents, not my colleagues and only a few close friends and I'd love to keep it that way."

"You're afraid of what is going to happen shall someone find out right."

"Yes. Very much so. So instead of facing it head on I rather keep my mouth shut. I know if the wrong people were to find out I'd be screwed. So I understand were your coming from."

"If someone found out would you lie or admit it. If someone asks me should I admit it?"

"I probably wouldn't admit. As far as you go do what you feel is right. As long as you're open with yourself that's what matters."

Stone had basically said the same thing and Jeff believes him. "I'll try keeping that in mind."

* * *

Stone had arrived to drive Jeff and Chris home. Saying that the bus was garbage and they shouldn't have to be subjected to that torture.

Chris sat in the back while Jeff sat in the front with Stone. The radio was playing generic pop music annoying Chris. He puts his head in his hands. "Dude do you have any Led Zeppelin?"

"Duh. Who wouldn't have Led Zeppelin. Check the console."

Chris leans forward opening the compartment and finding some CDs. "Dude all you have four?"

"Yeah. So what, it's their best album."

Chris was bewildered. "No way. One is the best."

Stone peers at him. "You have to be fucking kidding. Haven't you heard stairway to heaven?"

"Haven't you heard Dazed and Confused?"

Stone was horrified. "No way are saying that's better than stairway to heaven."

"Yes I am. Dazed and Confused sounds much better especially live. How the hell can you bang your head to that?"

Stone needed to win this argument."Jeff." He wines. "What do you think?'

Jeff takes his eyes off the road and nonchalantly blinks before yawning. "I think Rush are better."

Stone and Chris were speechless. "You're kidding...right Jeff?" Stone asks.

"No Stone. I think Rush are much more technical and creative."

"There wouldn't even be a Rush without Led Zeppelin." Chris informs.

"Yeah I mean. Would you want to get fucked to a Rush song?"

Stone's comment made Jeff blush. "Yeah sure. Why not."

Stone peels his eyes off the road to casually look Jeff up and down accidentally catching Jeff's eye's. Both quickly look away.

Chris managed to not catch any of that interaction too busy looking at the street lights.

Once Stone pulled up to their house Chris was the first to say goodbye and leave.

"Thanks for the ride Stone. But I gotta go. Bye." Jeff says close to stepping out of the car before a hand gently gripping his wrist stops him.

"Let me walk you to the door."

Jeff nods letting Stone get out, open his side of the door and walk him to his house.

"Wow Stone when did you become such a gentlemen?"

They were standing on his doorstep now. Stone scratches his head feeling shy all of a sudden. "When I realized you were beautiful."

Stone wasn't as confident as he made it seem. He didn't want to fuck up. Jeff was blank for a few seconds making sure he heard him correctly. Though he was madly blushing and as red as a tomato. "W-what Stone?"

"Y-you heard me. I shouldn't have to repeat myself."

"Thanks...but what's so beautiful about me? I'm not special."

Stone cups his cheek. "Everything. I can't choose."

"Stone There are tons of other guys. Ones better than me and more assure of themselves than me."

Stone leans closer. "Clearly I'm not after other guys. I'm only after the guy right in front of me."

Jeff blinked making sure this was actually happening. He had no idea what to do. "If you're going to kiss me can't you just do already."

Stone rolls his eyes and smirks. He leans in and kisses him finally.

It was deep but innocent and Jeff was nearly having heart attack. He wrapped his arms around Stone's neck. Jeff loved this, he didn't want it to end and neither did Stone.

Stone trailed his hands up against Jeff's face and pull Jeff's goofy hat off trailing his fingers through his hair. Jeff in the midst of all of this, lets his tongue slip through Stone's mouth. The older man doesn't hesitant to suck on it.

The two fail to realize Miriam ran to the front door and saw them through the screen.

They were caught up in each other letting the whole entire world stop. Until the door opens and they hear giggles and sighing.

They quickly pull apart and see Jeff's entire family watching them. "H-hi you guys." Jeff says feeling embarrassed.

"I was wondering when you were going to get home son. I would ask you how your day was but it seems to be going quite swell." His father says sternly like he was his teenage daughter.

Jeff turns back to an embarrassed Stone. "Thanks for the ride Stone I appreciate it."

His father's eyes bulge "RIDE?!"

"Not that ride dad. What are you thinking?"

His mother chuckles patting her husband on the back while he thinks about his stupidity.

"I'll call you later. Bye Jeff."

Stone was close to leaving before Jeff's mother stops him. "Would you like to stay for dinner Stone? I'm sure Jeff would be delighted to have you."

Stone doesn't hesitant to say yes. Jeff's father gave him the overprotective dad look.

Jeff couldn't hide the smile on his face when they all sat at the table together. Him and Stone sat next to each other with no worries and fears about being accepted. Since here they clearly were. 

Jeff knew he needed to take a picture. So he pulls out his camera snapping a few shots of Stone who looked caught off guard in every one.

Sitting at the table with his family and Stone, Jeff knew he wouldn't always be accepted but in this moment he was and for that he was thankful.

 **~** **END~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this story was more focused on Jeff coming to terms with his sexuality than his actual relationship with Stone. Sorry if it was a little disappointing. Thanks!


	8. Scream of the Butterfly: Pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is next story is about Eddie and Chris. The themes are pretty dark. Like implied Statutory Rape (aka unlawful relationship with a minor) manipulation, taking advantage of a child, homelessness, more homophobia and getting abandoned by parents, and trying to take sexual advantage of someone (And failing, I'm not that evil 😧). So trigger warnings, lots of them. I'm evil I can't stop making these two suffer.

Eddie knew he shouldn't had been so stupid. But in the moment he didn't care. He wanted to get back at his parents for all of their lies.

At first it was simple things like getting blonde highlights, getting a tattoo, staying out too late. Getting drunk and high (which they know nothing about thankfully) Sometimes skipping town and just hitchhiking around or staying away from home for days.

Eddie was wild and his parents were getting fed up. Now this would be the final straw.

Eddie had known of his own sexuality for awhile now. He liked boys not girls. He didn't have a hard time accepting it. He couldn't give a shit about what people thought of him.

If they hated him so be it. But a lot wouldn't see it that way. It wouldn't matter how nonchalant he acted or how much he tried to explain it. People wouldn't accept it. And he was going to get a rude awakening of just how much.

His moans and groans filled his bedroom as he laid on his bed getting ravished by the stranger on top of him.

Yes this was was pretty bad. Eddie had went to the record shop after school to buy some sonic youth and ended meeting a spikey pink haired street punk. The boy looked rough and was anything but charming but he laid it on thick and Eddie was horny.

His name from what Eddie can remember was Rodney. He was about Eddie's age and was a typical all leather and spike punk. 

Eddie had only ever had sex about two times before, also with complete strangers. None of those times were gentle either.

This Rodney was going rough and fast. Eddie could tell he was pierced down there. He gripped at his spikey head while he wined. It hurt more than anything.

Eddie knew he'd leave and he never see him again. He had no idea why he did this to himself. Getting with a stranger he doesn't know just to fill the void only for that void to grow bigger and bigger and leave him seeking out someone else.

The street punk gets more and more harsh. Pounding into him harder and harder and pulling at his hair harshly. Eddie was really starting not to like this.

"Slow down."

He wasn't answered. Rodney just kept on going harder and harder. "You're hurting me."

Rodney yanks his hair harder pulling some of it out and making Eddie screech. "Fucking stop!!"

He pushes at him and that only gets hands wrapped around his neck choking him. Eddie kicks and punches at him confused as to how this turned so bad so quickly. "STOP IT!!!"

Rodney slows down a little and loosens his but he was still too rough.

"I thought you wanted it rough."

In a matter of seconds his door is open and his parents are there looking at him with shock and disappointment.

It was enough to spook Rodney into finally pulling out of him. His father was livid. Before the two could do anything he charges at them punching Rodney square in the nose. "Get out of my house you fag!"

Rodney picks up his clothes and runs out. Eddie was breathing rapidly, relieved that he was finally gone. That relive was short lived however when his father back hands him.

Eddie grabs his cheek in pain and squeezes his eyes shut. "YOU SLUT! How dare you bring that trash into my house. Have you no respect?"

Eddie opens his eyes which were now glassy. "I'm sorry."

His mother shakes her head. "You've done way too many things. We thought you were just coping but this is too far. You turn into one of _those_ just to spite us."

Eddie rolls his eyes. "I didn't turn into anything. This is who I am. I can't change anything."

Eddie's father pulls his hair. "I want you gone! You hear me." He slaps him again. "I want you the fuck out of here."

Eddie was crying and had tears streaming down his face. He couldn't help it. "Please."

"You have one hour. If you aren't gone by then I'll call the police."

They left and slammed the door in his face leaving him there a crying bare mess.

* * *

Eddie willed himself to pack his things. He placed everything in two bags and then snuck out the back door. Not wanting to face his parents.

He should have known this act of rebellion would eventually bite him in the ass. His parents were homophobic and he just had to bring a guy into their house.

He felt so stupid and helpless walking with his taped up old boots and bags. He had some money but absolutely no where to go. It was windy and cold and his jacket wasn't doing the trick.

Eddie wanted to cry again. But he held himself back not wanting anyone to see him like that.

Eddie was almost completely lacking in the friends department. The only friends he had was his Cousin Dave A. who lived on the other side of town and went to another school, they barely got along. Then there was his friend Mike. They weren't too close and barely talked after school. Then there was Dave Grohl his close albeit awkward friend with horrible social skills. Dave probably wouldn't mind him staying at his place. But from what Eddie heard his parents are wackos that refuse to let him have anyone over.

That left Eddie out of options. He had absolutely no where to go. He was all alone and no one would help him.

Eddie speed walked away from the neighborhood wanting to be as far away from his parents as possible.

He felt weak, like he could have easily gotten blown away by the wind. His destination was aimless. 

His mind went to places that would be a good fit to stay. Like alleyways and abandoned houses or buildings.

People stared, noting a kid with ratty looking hand me down clothes carrying two decent sized bags looked unorthodox. 

Eddie hated when people stared and didn't mind their own business. Maybe it was a trait he picked up from hanging around Dave Grohl too much he didn't know. But Dave was the same way maybe that was the reason they were each others only real friends.

Eddie trudged for a long time. Until he remembered an old run down cabin he used to stay in whenever he didn't want to go home.

He groans not feeling like walking all the way back there. But he does getting there within an hour.

The cabin was inside the forest in the more rural part of the city. It was rundown with broken windows and was extremely old.

Eddie trudged up the cricketing steps and put his ear to the door making sure no one came up with the idea first.

He stepped inside getting immediately placed in the only room in the cabin.

He plops his bags on the dusty bed and turns his attention to the small fridge that was unfortunately completely empty besides a can of jelly from 1973.

The only other thing there was an old CB radio and a clock. No shower or bathroom, that would be too much of a luxury.

Eddie sat on the edge of the bed throwing his head in hands in sobbing.

* * *

The rustling of the trees and the sound of the wilderness made it nearly impossible for him to sleep.

He was on the edge just thinking something bad would happen and there was nothing he could do to stop it. The door didn't have a lock and Eddie had nothing to defend himself with.

He woke up panting after he heard a thump outside the cabin.

Eddie rolled off the bed and sat in the corner with his knees to his chest. He sat like that for a few minutes until nothing happened. "I'm such an idiot." Eddie mumbles.

The clock read four twenty am. Though class didn't start until seven thirty Eddie needed to start heading out since the walk was over an hour long.

Eddie kept his clothes on not seeing the point and changing.

He left the cabin hiding his bags in the drawers and cupboard before walking down the lonely and dark back road.

In about fifteen minutes Eddie was exhausted. Then be got an idea to do something he was all to familiar with. Hitchhiking.

So Eddie walked slower holding out his thumb and getting the attention of a truck driver who actually gave him a ride to the school since he was coincidentally delivering packages there.

He made it to the school in about an hour. Eddie sat on the bench for close to an hour before a teacher was kind enough to let him in.

Eddie sat in the office for awhile answering small talk before it was finally time for him to walk around.

Which meant waiting in the hallway by the classroom for Dave to show up. Dave despised going to his locker and being sandwiched in a crowd. Eddie was kinda the same way.

Eddie sat on the floor with his arms crossed. His teacher wasn't there yet.

Once Dave shows up looked like his normal self. Depressed, long baggy clothes, unkept dyed blonde hair and his natural lack of confidence looking.

He was kinda slouching but as soon as he saw Eddie his mood changed as his face lit up. "Hey!"

Eddie lightly smiles. "Hey man."

Dave sits down taking no time to notice Eddie's disheveled appearance. He was a good observer. "You didn't go home last night did you?"

Eddie studies him he always did that. "Well yeah. I suppose I did. I brought this punk into my house to have sex. He was extremely aggressive. My parents found us and kicked me out. Now I stay in that cabin I told you about."

Eddie got straight to the point not seeing the point of playing word games. Now he was waiting for Dave's sincere but awkward response.

"T-that's very unfortunate. I'm sorry that happened. I would let you stay at my place but my parents are stupid."

Eddie glumly smiles. "I know. Thanks. I don't know what I'm going to do. This isn't like all of those times before. This time I have nowhere else to go."

"They really won't let you go back?"

"No dude. Catching me with a man was the final straw."

"How are you going to support yourself?"

"I have no clue. Doesn't matter now."

Dave combs through his own blonde hair. "If it makes you feel any better your parents seem like assholes."

Eddie giggles. "Yeah it does."

"Are you hungry? You probably haven't eaten anything in hours."

Eddie lights up. "Dave I'm starving."

Dave digs into his pocket and pulls out a pack of fruit snacks that Eddie graciously accepts. 

He rips open the bag and throws the candy in his mouth. "You have anymore?" He asks with his mouth full.

Dave giggles. "No sorry...You should swallow before you choke."

"Never choked before." Eddie says before winking.

It takes Dave a few seconds to catch on. "Ew. You whore."

Eddie swallows the candy before laughing. "Far from it. Sucking dick is some of these girls favorite hobbies. I just do it when I'm about to get laid."

Dave grimaces. He was always uncomfortable talking about sex though it fascinated him. "...Do you like doing it?"

"No...I mean not really. But I sorta feel obligated."

"Why?"

Eddie was staring to lack confidence in his answers. "Well if their going to make me feel good I should do the same thing..right."

Dave was so inexperienced he could only answer with his feelings and small ounce of knowledge. "I think you should only do it if you like it. If you don't feel comfortable why do it. Besides shouldn't having actual sex make you both feel good. If that's so just do that. But if you're uncomfortable why why do something like that just to please someone else."

Eddie listened he was the only one that listened to Dave. Because of how Awkward he was everyone thought he was retarded but he was the realist person Eddie knew that also had an open mind.

"I've never thought about it like that. If that is the case all of the few times I had sex were pretty uncomfortable. This first time was with this boy who I met a concert car. He was rough and didn't care if I was comfortable or enjoying myself. But I made sure he enjoyed it. The second time was with this dude I met at a baseball game. We went back to his place and he was so aggressive he left me bleeding. Then this last guy choked me and pulled out my fucking hair...Why the hell do I let myself be treated this way."

"Maybe it's to fill the void. I do crazy shit to fill the void too. I just want life to have meaning. I do things or try to seek out random little things to make my life mean something but it never does and I end feeling lonely and empty all the same." Dave tells him.

That was why Eddie was friends with Dave he might have been pretty weird but his words made the most sense. "You might be right. But I'm not sure if that's why I do any of the things I do."

Eddie had an excuse he always used for his behavior- his father, his real father but he was starting to wonder if that was the only reason.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was kinda bad I know sorry. But the next one will be more focused on Chris.


	9. Scream of the Butterfly: Pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ❤💜💙❤  
> ❤💜💙❤  
> ❤💜💙❤  
> ❤💜💙❤  
> 💛💙💚💛  
> I don't have kids or any younger siblings. Hell I don't even like kids so everyone thinks I'm heartless. So sorry but I tried to make this as realistic as possible. But I Suck. I'm literally cringing as I write this.

Chris laid in his bed dreaming of pink clouds and blue bunnies. He normally didn't get peaceful dreams. Not to say they were nightmarish just dark and depressing.

He could hear the jiggling of his bedroom door and high pitched giggles coming from in front of it. At this point he was basically awake.

The jiggling gets more and more unruly so Chris sits up with a groan and hops out of bed. He rubs his eyes and yawns turning on his light and opening his door.

His pride and joy was waiting there for him. "It's five am. What are you doing up so early sweetie?" He asked his brother Demarcus.

Demarcus smiles still giggling and Chris bends down picking him up and bringing him to his bed.

Chris plops down on the bed holding his brother in his arms. Demarcus squirms in his arms playing with Chris's messy curly brown hair.

Chris giggles. "Are you lion?" Demarcus asks making Chris giggle more. 

"No. Am I that hairy?"

Demarcus giggles and nods making Chris fake offense. The child looked just like Chris. He had a mop of curly hair, blue eyes and acted nearly the same. Demarcus squirms more trying to move away from Chris making the teenager laugh. 

Chris runs his fingers through the toddlers hair grimacing by how unkept it feels. 'When was the last time me or mom combed his hair?' He thinks.

Chris can hear the toddlers stomach rumbling. "Are you hungry baby?"

The child nods. "I'm hungry."

Chris giggles. "I'm sure you are. You could eat the whole house if you wanted to."

Chris was tired. It was Saturday and he had spent the whole day after school watching after his brother. Chris wanted to. He knew it was his responsibility and he needed to step up though his parents keep on telling him to take it easy and be a kid. Chris knew he really couldn't do that since his innocence was taken long ago.

He scoops him up and walks him down to the kitchen.

* * *

Chris placed Demarcus in his high chair. "Want some cereal tike?"

Demarcus nods eagerly making Chris grin.

He sets a bowl full of lucky charms in front of the boy who eagerly starts eating with his fingers. "I told you before to use your manners."

"Sorry."

Chris laughs watching him with all the joy and care in the world. His mother appears in the kitchen looking worn out like she has been for the past few years.

"Christopher why are you up so early?"

"Demarcus wanted me. So now I'm up."

She looks at the two and tiredly sighs. "Chris I can take care of it just fine. You're still a kid you should be sleeping as well."

"This is my responsibility. I should look after him."

They always got into this conversation,though it never really became an augment. "Son your seventeen. You should be hanging out with your friends and getting into trouble and making mistakes. You never asked for any of this to happen. It's not your responsibility to do all of this. Be a kid."

Chris was indifferent. "But he is my responsibility. I'm not like most people my age you know that. Sometimes he's the only thing that keeps me sane. I love him."

His mother walks up to him and grips his hand looking him in the eyes. "I know that you do son but you're still a child. Nothing that happened was your fault. Me nor your father blame you. If anything we should have realized something was wrong. We are the adults and it should be our responsibility. I just want what's best for you. And that is you being a kid."

Chris lets some of his reserve go. She really cared about him and wanted him to be happy. "You know why I do this. I want to be involved in his life. I need to be involved."

"Chris you still can be but that doesn't mean giving up your childhood. Me and your father can handle this."

Chris's expression changes getting sadder thinking about things from long ago. "My childhood was stolen from me long ago."

* * *

It was twelve when his mother forced him out of the house to go visit some friends. Aka so far his only one Jeff.

Chris knew deep down she was right and he needed to do "teen" things. Though he was too stubborn to admit this.

He already called Jeff who said it was alright. Jeff had answered the door as soon as he knocked. He looked rather Cheery which was his normal self before everything happened but he was getting back to how he was before. "Hey Chris! How's it going?"

"Good man...why the hell are you so happy?"

Jeff blushes and moves his hair behind his ear. "Stone's over."

Chris gives a knowing smirk. "Do your parents know he's here."

"Oh shut up. They and my sister left a few hours ago."

They trudge up the stairs. "Your dad would probably kill him if he found him in your room."

Jeff rolls his eyes. "We didn't really do anything. Besides I'm not going to tell my dad Stone the "de-flowerer" is here."

As soon as they enter the room Jeff is locked into a hug by Stone and smothered by an assault of kisses. 

Chris stood there watching amusedly. "S-stone!" Jeff mumbles.

Stone pulls him in by the waist kissing him deep on the lips. Jeff was almost over powered by this until he realized he still had company.

He lightly pushes at him. "Quit Chris is here!"

Stone slowly pulls away annoyed noticing Chris standing to his side. "Oh hey man didn't see you."

"I could tell."

Stone snarls at him saying nothing instead opting to sit on the bed taking Jeff with him.

Chris sits down at Jeff's desk. He noticed Jeff's room looked different. He had so many pictures taped everywhere. Most were of buildings and random things like the sky. "Did you take these Jeff?"

Chris pointed to a random photo of an abandoned house. "Yes. I started taking photography more seriously after I got kicked off the basketball team."

Jeff seemed like he was really taking photography seriously and Chris thought maybe he should get a hobby of his own. But he was too busy.

"So Chris dude you seem athletic. Why don't you join a sports team." Stone asks.

Chris giggles. "I'm one of the schools fags remember."

Stone nods "They are all morons don't listen to them."

"I never really do but thanks."

Jeff starts thinking. "What hobbies do you even have Chris? I've known you for a month and you're literally a mystery."

Chris becomes hesitant again. "I um...I like taking care of my so-Brother." 

"How old is he?" Stone asks.

"Four."

"Cool. I have two older sisters."

Jeff let's his mind wander to somewhere else."Do you think you have a chance of passing that math test?"

Chris was confused. "What math test."

"The one I let you borrow the notes for. The test we have in two days."

"Fuck I totally forgot about that. It won't be that difficult..right?"

"I dunno I studied."

Stone starts playing with Jeff's discarded hat. "What's distracting you from studying anyway?"

"My family that's all."

"Huh. I would have thought for a kid your age all you'd think about is getting laid."

Chris rolls his eyes. "Really? Jeff isn't always thinking about getting laid."

Stone smirks at Jeff. "He does he just refuses to admit it."

"No I don't Stone fuck you. Quit trying to get into my pants."

Stone scoffs. "You want me in your pants!"

"Oh really Gossard? What makes you so sure."

Stone reaches into his jacket and pulls out a CD handing to Jeff. "What is this... Is this a rush CD?"

Stone looks away shyly. "Yeah um... Remember when you said you wouldn't mind getting laid to a Rush CD."

Jeff has to think for a second before he remembers. Chris chuckles. "You really think Jeff will let you take his virginity, because your brought a rush CD? What a looser."

Stone tosses a pillow at him knocking him in the face and making Chris groan. "Stone!" Jeff lectures. "This is flattering I suppose..but um you should have brought 2112."

Stone shakes his head before grinning and kissing Jeff.

Chris watched the two wondering if he was missing out on anything not being in a relationship. But then he remembers what happened in his old "relationship". When he was used and lied to. He never wanted to experience anything like that ever again. He hoped he never would.

All of a sudden Jeff's door opens and there stands his father walking in on Jeff and Stone kissing. "Stone Gossard!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you figured out where this is going just remember I'm evil as shit. 😧 I can't help myself. Rainbows and sugar loops kinda exist in the real world but there is always darkness that comes with it. 🌈🌚 (Real good motivational talk 😅 😂) Thanks for reading!


	10. Scream of the Butterfly: Pt 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter was trash. Especially the last part sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been updating my other stories that much and I'm sorry. 
> 
> Mailman might be my most popular story on this website but honestly I'm not a big fan of it. I think it's a little over the top especially with dialogue at times. And it made no sense for me to give back stories to original characters that end up doing much of nothing in terms of plot. Also the world building is trash my brain sometimes works ninety miles a minute and I have a hard time remembering or keeping up with all of these sub plots and whatever. I only have a few chapters left for that so I'll try to finish but consider we die like teen spirit in limbo.
> 
> I doubt anyone remembers queen of the rodeo I barely remember it so consider that in limbo. Rearviewmirror is also in limbo. The rest of my stories that aren't finished besides this are pretty much in limbo as well. 😧 I'm sorry.

Eddie had done what he had been doing for the past few days. Waking up with a jolt on the uncomfortable bed and freaking out thinking something is going to come in.

He put on some of clean clothes and hitchhiked like before. This time it was with a sweet old lady who actually gave him food. Eddie thought she was some angel from heaven.

Eddie waited for Dave outside of class again. When the boy finally showed up Eddie was relieved. They greeted each other and Dave sat down looking more depressed than normal. "You alright man?"

Dave was unsure if he should even tell Eddie. Eddie's problems were worse than his and he had doubts he would even care. No one else did. "You can tell me."

"My parents were being assholes again. They kept on bitching and moaning about my music choices and grades. Then how antisocial and cold I was and how I was such a looser nobody wanted to be my friend. And how they hoped I wasn't a fag." Dave said rolling his eyes.

"I'm sorry man."

Dave was confused. "Thanks really. But you don't have to apologize. You're situation is far more worse. Are you still staying in that cabin?"

Eddie shoves a hand into his pockets. "Yeah. It's horrible down there but at least I have a roof over my head."

Dave was shocked if he was in that situation he would've bitched and moaned. "You're an optimist. If I had to live in those creepy ass woods by myself I would loose it."

"I know. The only shower I've taken in the past few days was when I snuck into the boys locker room. I've barely eaten anything either. Luckily this old lady gave me food. Oh and I have to shit and piss outside."

"At least your making compost."

Eddie giggles. "I suppose. I feel sorry for anybody who stepped in it."

Dave snorts, dying laughing. "You are disgusting."

Another mocking voice speaks up. "So are you."

Eddie and Dave look up eyes wide with shock and horror. It was Krist. The extremely tall boy was standing in front of the door. "What are you doing here?" Eddie asks sounding irate.

"If you must know dipshit I'm just stopping by my new class."

The two boys were confused. Krist rolled his eyes. "If you two fags need any explanation my classes got changed so I'm here. I'm glad too now I get to have classes with Dave."

Dave rolled his eyes. "Fuck you."

Dave had done it now. "Excuse me? Who the fuck do you think your talking too? You skinny bastard."

Dave for some odd reason didn't back down. Flipping Krist off. Eddie would have called him crazy but he would have done the same thing. So he applauded Dave. Until Krist started slowly approaching them.

He was definitely gonna wring out Dave's neck. Dave didn't give a fuck anymore. If he wasn't afraid and scared he was annoyed and defiant. 

While he was scared he smirked kinda wanting to happen. "How about you hit me."

Krist was pissed walking faster and faster until a voice stopped him. "Hey! Leave them alone!"

They all turn to see Chris standing there books in hand. 

Eddie looked at him and he couldn't help but think he was really pretty. "What the fuck are you doing here fag Chris Fagnell?"

Chris rolls his eyes. "Is that the best you could come up with. Anyways I don't have to tell you shit."

Dave was relieved and Eddie was wondering who this stranger was. "Where is your boyfriend Jeff? I bet he would love to see me kick your ass."

"He's not my boyfriend dumbfuck. Leave these guys alone. Pick on someone your own size...oh wait I forgot your a fucking giraffe."

Krist was fuming and grabbed Chris by the jacket. "We're only a few feet apart how about I start by kicking your ass."

Chris rolls his eyes not in the mood to fight. A teacher approaches them. "What are you boys doing?"

She was stern and accusing. Eddie didn't want this Chris fellow to get in trouble but he wanted Krist to finally pay. "Krist was trying to beat up this dude and steal his lunch money. We tried to stop him but we feared for our safety."

Krist mouth was agape in horror. While Chris was surprised by how deep this guys voice was and by how he was helping him. The teacher studies Eddie.

"He's lying!!" 

"Yes, Eddie is telling the truth. We are so glad you showed up just in time." Dave says.

Krist was irate. "You're dead meat Grohl."

Chris wanted to seal the deal. "I thought he was going to kill me."

"You bastard."

The teacher shook her head hearing enough. "Come with me young man."

She drags him away as he mutters swears and threats.

Chris waits until he leaves to turn his attention to the two. "Thanks for saving my ass back there."

"No problem." Eddie says very quietly and shyly.

"I'm Chris by the way. You guys are Eddie and Dave right?"

They nod staying pretty quiet. Chris was getting the feeling they didn't want to talk. "So why was that wacko trying to beat you two up?"

"Actually he was only trying to beat up Dave."

Dave rolls his eyes. "Yeah well he would have kicked your short ass just as easy."

Chris smiles at the two's interaction. "I'm not that short."

Dave wanted to know more about Chris. "Are you in this period now?"

"No actually. I just need to talk with the teacher."

Eddie was silent looking him over. He seemed like a good guy but what did it matter he probably thought Eddie looked like gutter trash. 

Chris glanced at Eddie and Dave. Dave didn't stand out that much but Eddie kinda did. It mostly his face that caught Chris's attention. Chris thought he was very handsome but that was all. 

Eddie's pencil falls out of his hand rolling down the floor and landing closer to Chris.

Eddie leans closer holding his hand out being unsuccessful. Chris bends down and picks it up.

He walks over to Eddie who was now standing up.

The closer and closer Chris gets Eddie feels as though the boy is towering over him and covering him with his shadow.

Chris leans down and hands the pencil to Eddie. Eddie was about half a foot shorter than him and was a whole foot shorter than Krist. They didn't call him short for nothing.

Eddie moves a piece of his own hair behind his ear. "Thanks."

Chris grins. "You're welcome."

* * *

Eddie and Dave sat with each other alone at lunch. Luckily Krist had a different lunch than them.

Eddie was stuffing his face with the lunch he could barely afford.

Dave was picking at his food once he glanced at Eddie. He slid his trey towards him. "Do you want it?"

Eddie's face lights up thanking him and taking the trey.

Jeff and Chris didn't have a place to sit since it was taken by a bunch of jackass girls that wouldn't let them sit with them. "Really? What a load of b.s. "You can't sit with us." Since when were their fucking names on the seat." Jeff said annoyed walking with Chris as they looked for another spot.

"They were like those clique mean girls in all of those horror movies that steal your prom dress." Chris said.

When they found a somewhat empty table it was occupied by Eddie and Dave who sat at the very end. "Hey would you mind if we sat here?" Jeff asks them.

Eddie stops chewing on the bread in his mouth and shakes his head while Dave gives him a nonchalant no.

Jeff and Chris sit down and Jeff introduces himself getting shy responses from Eddie and Dave. "Cool Hat." Eddie says ever introducing himself.

"Thanks. My hats are like a second part of me."

The four split off into their own separate conversations. Chris's and Jeff was the oddest. "You ever gonna start taking nudes Ament?"

Jeff snorts. "What. No...why?"

"I was just surprised you didn't have any photos of Stone on your walls. You two can't seem to get enough of each other."

"So? Just because the photos I have aren't on display doesn't make them explicit jackass."

Eddie started focusing more on their conversation than his own which had fizzled out. "Stone is trying to get laid. I'll bet he'll be up for it."

Jeff rolls his eyes. "I don't want to give it up yet. I want wait. Is there something so wrong with wanting to wait? I really, really like him but that I don't want to regret anything. He understands. Now shut up."

"Okay, okay. I'll stop."

Eddie just blankly sat there feeling a deep connection with what Jeff had said and wished he could have heard those words much sooner.

Chris noticed the boy had two treys next to him and still looked hungry. "Want my apple?"

Eddie perked up at this. "Sure thanks man."

Chris grinned. "No problem. You must need it more than I do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really starting to like the name Homer. Does anyone else think that's a good name? I don't know why but it sounds like an amazing insult. "Whatever Homer." (I'm loosing my sanity. 🌚💫 😥😁😵😑💫)
> 
> This took a long time to write though it shouldn't have. I literally have no motivation. I forced myself to finish this. This chapter was supposed to be much longer but I feel so depressed right now. I'm trying so hard not cry right but I don't know why because I'm not sad. I don't know what my problem is. I'm putting this on hiatus. I wanna keep writing since that is my only productive hobby. But I'm not in the mood. I feel so down is practically unbearable. Knowing myself I might end up changing my mind and writing a new chapter in a couple of days. But I doubt it, sorry. I Hope everyone reading this understands. Thanks for reading my stories.💜


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